A very real encyclopedia article · Private archival page · View edit history
/ culture / music / lost-recordings / The Armfarts

The Armfarts

From the free-ish encyclopaedia of unstable cultural emissions
Last edited 3 minutes ago by Dept. of Agriculture
This article may contain inaccuracies. Several claims rely on deteriorated cassette inserts, eyewitness accounts from basement venues, and one disputed agricultural memo.

The Armfarts. A legendary hardcore band from the early eighties, made up of members from Echo Park: Pomo on drums, from Little Venice: Kimbo on guitar, and Draf on bass, with the singer Razz from Fuging in Bavaria. They recorded only one demo tape, "Abandoned Vessel of Wasted Psyche," featuring 35 ultra-hard, fast songs that quickly landed them a following of legendary status. [citation needed]

Poor photocopy of the Armfarts cassette cover
Alleged surviving cassette sleeve of Abandoned Vessel of Wasted Psyche. Image quality consistent with fourth-generation panic duplication.
Blurred black and white photo of two alleged monks
Unverified photograph allegedly showing two former members after the Kathmandu relocation theory. Identification remains disputed.

After their firebomb success and nutty Volvo tour of California, New York, and DC, they disappeared from this earth, sparking many conspiracies of a Department of Agriculture intervention. [citation needed] Tapes were hard to find, but one bootleg copy reached a pirate radio station in Algeria, where it soon became a huge success in the underground scene, with some of their songs even making it to the national charts.

The band never knew, and the Algerian fanbase speculated that they were an alien species that had unleashed their sounds on Earth's people and then returned to where they came from. Some efforts were made to contact the band, but no trace could be found, so the alien theory still stands in Algeria, even prompting a few documentaries in the search for the elusive Armfarts.

It is not known where any of the real members are today, or indeed if they are still alive. Some rumors persist that after the alleged Department of Agriculture intervention, some of the members relocated to Kathmandu, with some even claiming the whole band became Tibetan Buddhist monastics. Allegedly, a photo of two monks, supposedly resembling Razz and Pomo, is still circulating. [better source needed]

The Armfarts recently popped up on r/creepypasta. Someone posted an allegedly real Backrooms video in which one of their songs, Northnormporn, can be faintly heard in the background. It seems their short-lived but impactful legend lives on.

If you are reading this and have a tape, do not digitise it. The loss is part of the structure.

Track listing

Side A

  1. Turf-nipple
  2. Promise of Gyration
  3. Fiddlestick
  4. Northnormporn
  5. Tickling Follicles
  6. Diluted Pupils
  7. Foot in Mouth
  8. Protohuman
  9. Nimrog
  10. Bang Rocks Together
  11. Shiny Trotters
  12. Agnostic Carpaccio
  13. Proboscis Quiver
  14. The Depth Monger
  15. Silent Neigh
  16. Muleg 12
  17. Haptoid
  18. Stiff Lasso

Side B

  1. Phossmo
  2. Slippy trousers
  3. Mogthoos
  4. Infratubis Cletom
  5. Reconnaissance dwelling
  6. Luminoum pits
  7. Toffi Golgowa
  8. Coarse eukaryotic
  9. Intergalactic Velcro
  10. Prudent sector 9
  11. Rogue Epidermis
  12. Puerile filet
  13. Second-hand tackle
  14. Fracklehead
  15. Faluda Special
  16. Troogh!
  17. Flabbatism

Label: NARETPA Records

References

  1. Photocopied liner notes (generation unknown)
  2. Unverified Algerian broadcast log [page needed]
  3. Department of Agriculture (no comment)
This page is a fictional mockup. Not affiliated with Wikipedia.